Moms With Impact

I’ve been a Mom for 5 short (but honestly it’s felt like 15) years and the one thing I can tell you is that every mother I meet has had an impact on me one way or another on how I mother my children. With Mother’s Day around the corner- did you hear that fellas, it’s RIGHT around the corner? I wanted to reflect on some Mother’s who have had a large bang on the overall makeup of who I am as a mother.

Ferrin

She’s been my friend since high school and she was fortunate enough to room with me one year in college. The thing that Ferrin has taught me about motherhood is bravery. She was one of the first of friends my age to have a child. I didn’t know it then because I didn’t have any children yet, but looking back on it now she was so brave. She never seem flustered by the thought of bringing a new life into the world- or bothered by all the pregnancy symptoms. Ferrin was a rock. It’s not my story to tell, but Ferrin had quite a story with her delivery of her son and I can’t even wrap my mind around how calm and collected she was. She’s brave and I’ll always admire her ability to stand strong even when circumstances want her to falter.

My Mother-In-Law

Patti is quite possibly the strongest woman I know. She’s tough and tenacious as well as incredibly loving. It’s a hard balance to be a durable mother and she handles the harmony of the two with ease. She’s taught me how to stand up for what I believe is right for myself and what is right for my children. Never falter to those who disagree with you. I admire her ability to take on so many tasks with a complete sense of content. I don’t see Patti flustered or see her break much. That’s such a difficult thing to do as a mother- not break down and completely lose your shit a few times a day. She’s a nurturing rock. She’ll be there for her children no matter what and won’t show signs of distress or panic. Patti raised three boys, shuttled them to football, basketball, baseball, Ukulele practice and volunteered to help in all their classrooms. She was a Super Mom and she continues that love for her children and spreads that love and stability to their children. At the drop of a hat Patti will hop on a plane to be there for her kids or to assist with the Grandchildren and handles it all like a champion. Patti, I’ll continue to admire your fortitude and I’ll also continue to channel it in my journey through motherhood.

My Aunt

Aunt isn’t really a word I’d use to describe Lea. She’s been one of my best friends and biggest advocates sine I was born. I was named after Lea and I named Ella Leah after her as well. We can share the story of why I’m a Leah with an “H” and Ella has an “H” too another time. Lea is my Mom’s sister and we’ve been extremely close since I was born. Lea is one of those people in life where we’ve just had an easy connection from the start. Our relationship is effortlessly perfect. Lea has taught me to not take shit from anyone (I’d say for lack of a better word, but honestly shit is the perfect word here). Lea is the perfect teammate in life. She’s constantly encouraging and the biggest cheerleader. She goes to bat for all three of her children with a large heart and life’s biggest pompoms.

Nicole

My sister in law as a mother has taught me the importance of being present. No matter the distraction of the day or other life problems when Nicole is with her daughter she is completely present in her time with her. It’s so easy to be distracted by life’s daily problems or the latest snap from your kidless friend at a fun happy hour event on a Tuesday. Nicole manages to put her mom blinders on and engulf herself in her time with her daughter. It’s such a beautiful reminder to myself to be in the moment with my kids.

Julie

Julie was our neighbor for all of my high school years and a mother of two boys. She taught me the art of sarcasm and how to laugh at yourself. Julie is the cool Mom. All her boys’ friends love her and everyone who meets her loves her. I appreciate her ability to make me laugh, make others laugh and laugh at the crazy ride of being a Mom. When life gets too serious I remember Julie’s enthusiasm for life and her enthusiasm for motherhood. It’s so important to laugh at ourselves and all of motherhood’s most hilarious moments.

Casey

One of my best friends' from high school has become my “same here” Mom friend. Casey is the friend I can text and whine to about the lack of sleep I’ve been getting or the amount of goldfish I’ve stepped on in the last hour and she response with “same here”. There isn’t much of a need to give me a sympathetic response she just gives me exactly what I need to hear. Same here is that reassurance we need as mothers to know we are not the only ones that have scrubbed feces off a bath tub more than once. Casey was my soccer teammate and now she’s my motherhood teammate. Find your teammates and may they always back you up in the feeling you are not alone.

My Mom

My Mom is the most selfless person I know and I’ve tried to harbor that generous trait myself as a mother. I will admit it comes much harder to me. I don’t like to share or be touched and apparently these are things that you need to do constantly with children. Some days- almost every day I am overwhelmed by all the giving that must happen when you’re a mother. I fell sucked dry and running on empty on often and my Mom is the one person I can call and be 100% honest in those feeling and get zero judgement from. She reminds me it’s okay to feel that way and feeling that way is normal. She then asks how she can help or insists on helping. It’s hard to accept help as a parent and I find it even hard to accept that help from my own parents. My Mom constantly reminds me that not only is it okay to accept the help it is necessary. In order to give to your kids you have to give to yourself and my Mom helps anyway she can to make sure I give to myself. She keeps me going most days and just emphasizes to me that I am doing my best and all three of my kids love me as much as I love them and as much as I love her.

Of course there are so many other mothers who have touched my life through their mothering artistry. These are just a small handful I highlighted. You can really learn something from every mother you meet. Think about all the moms you know and instead of comparing yourself to them- I challenge you to think about what they’re great at. How can you improve as a mother when you see the good in other mothers? Stop the mom judging and try to see the traits and attributes that make every mother shine. How can you translate that into your motherhood journey?