Need Help

Moms are notorious for thinking we can do it all and be made to believe that we need to do it all. I’m still fairly new at this Mom thing (just hit 5 years) and I’m just now realizing- or I guess I should say willing to admit that I can’t do it all. I’m not going to lie to you and say that I’m okay with admitting it, but it’s true… I can’t do it all. Every single person is different in all aspects of life and we shouldn’t forget that when discussing Moms too. Some Moms do a hell of a good job bringing multiple young children to the grocery store or on an airplane by themselves. I am not that Mom. I get super stressed and anxious with those tasks, silly- I know. Some Moms are super creative and great at coming up with new activities and some Moms are great at letting their kids figure out a way to entertain themselves. One thing that is similar for every Mom is that we all could use some help every now and then in some way or another. The amount of help defers from Mom to Mom, but I can’t think of one Mom who can do it all on her own.

I personally thrive as a Mom with a decent amount of help. I tend to get way less overwhelmed when I have help and much more on top of my game with lots of help. I’ve been very fortunate to have my Mom and Mother-in-Law jump at the opportunity to help when needed. This help and support from those two has made all the difference. I also have a Father and Father-in-Law who are naturals with the kids and willing to help as needed. I balked at the idea of needed a “nanny” or babysitting help for a long time. It was hard for me to accept help as I was a stay at home Mom so I shouldn’t need that help. Turns out my mental and physical wellbeing completely told me that I was wrong. It was hard for me to let down my guard and accept outside help and then it took awhile to feel comfortable with the fact that others were taking care of my kids. The first nanny we hired was right before I found out I was pregnant with my third child. She was one of the biggest blessings to our family and we had no idea how much she would do for us. My husband was traveling a lot and we had just moved to a state where we knew no one. I had two little kids (both 3 and under) and I was pregnant. We used Care.com and it made me so nervous at first. We interviewed some people and a lot we could tell fairly quickly wouldn’t be the right fit. Then we interviewed a nanny that just jumped right in during the interview and hung with the kids. Our oldest was super scared of strangers and we knew when she instantly warmed up to that nanny it was all going to be okay. Having that help made me a better Mom. I was able to do things alone and still be me and come back ready to tackle Mom duty. I needed to feel like I had an identity outside Mom life. We’ve found someone here in Austin too that is amazing with my kids and I’m pretty sure they’d much rather hang with her than me and that’s fine with me.

I share my experience simply to admit to myself that I am better when I ask and receive help with my kids and also to share it with anyone else who might be scared to do so. Every Mom is different in the same way that ever person is different. We all are in different circumstances and have different things on our plates. We also handle all these things in different ways. Always remember to see other Moms with open minds. Don’t compare your motherhood journey to theirs. Do you, do what you need to do for your family and own it.